The Sternal Journal 2020 Clip Show

My 7 favorite SternJourns from the year

Sternal Journalists,

2020 was—and I’m sure you’re hearing this for the first time right now—an unprecedented and unusual year. One of the smaller ways is that, every week, I sent you at worst a word-vomit and at best a thoughtful essay. They ran the gamut, but they were weekly, and I’m proud of that.

I know that you all don’t get a chance to read every week, and some of you joined later in the year, so I thought I would round up the 7 pieces I was most proud of. If you happen to love one, send it to a friend and let them know they can subscribe here. And if you think I missed one that belongs in the top, let me know!

(Note: slight weight was given to earlier pieces that you haven’t read in a while. Obviously, last week’s convo with Samee the Great will go down in the history books).

The 7 “Best” Sternal Journals of 2020

  1. The Fascinating History of Motherfucker

    Excerpt: “But motherfucker? Motherfucker is practically a complete sentence! You just need a subject. Proof: Jim fucked Mother. See?! Motherfucker is one Jim short of a sentence.”

  1. How (and Why) I Got Way Too (LEGALLY) High for Greta Gerwig’s Little Women

    Excerpt: “Chris, who was doing laundry at our apartment said during that pause that he was going to go “swap out," meaning his clothes from the washer to the dryer. I incredulously asked, “ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO POOP?!” because the only meaning I could think of for “swap out” was that he was going to swap his insides with his outsides.”

  1. Sternal Journal Notable Moment of Sport #1: Jesse Owens!

    Excerpt: “On one side, you have something to love: the domination of Jesse Owens, one of the greatest track and field athletes of all time, scoring gold after gold after gold (after gold) decades before his country would start even pretending to care about racial equality. On the other side, you have something to, if not hate, make you extremely uncomfortable: Not only is Hitler still in power, he's presiding over the dang games! Also, the Olympic torch relay was started by them! Unclear exactly whose idea it was, but it was at least approved by Hitler and Goebbels and orchestrated by someone who was cool with working with them. So to say the literal least, there's a lot going on here.”

  1. On Mourning the Tiny-Ass Moments Too

    Excerpt: “Nobody is cataloguing all the blips of normalcy passing us by. They will be gone, and that's okay because it has to be okay. But if you see one one of those blips, if you hear a new song and know that not only is this one of the greatest songs you've ever heard, not only is it the song of the summer if only we had real summer, but it would be even that much hotter to hear it in a scenario that is epidemiologically unethical, let yourself feel that. Let yourself mourn that.”

  1. Me, 10, Flipping Shits at Michael Eisner

    Excerpt: “Sunday night on ABC is when the Wonderful World of Disney went down. I'm talking about Model Behavior. I'm talking about Life-Size. I'm talking about Alley Cats Strike. Fuck the Rule of 3s, I'm talking about Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire. I'm talking about MY. DATE. WITH THE PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER.”

  1. Most Writing is Bad Which is Okay But

    Excerpt: “I bet it took a lot of hard work to make our Lord and Savior look like a bear who ate too much peanut butter in one bite.”

  1. A Hotdog on a Train

    Excerpt: “And still the hotdog on the train tells me when I run by that WE AIN'T HAD NOTHING YET. Also, the font they use and the crude photoshopping heavily implies a Randy Savage tone of voice and a punctuation of "YEEEEOWWWWW!"

And there you have it! At the very least, those are seven things I couldn’t have written without your support and I really appreciate that. Thank you again for that.

And, just to round out the best-ofness of it all, here are (I think {right now}) the best things I recommended this year:

Podcast: Catch and Kill

Book: Timequake

Movie: Crip Camp

Song: Rascal

Here’s to another year of hangin’ out in your inbox!

Love always,

Julian