Me having absolutely no business talking about sports
but doing it anyway. It's track. Barely counts.
Est. Read Time: 7 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
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Hellooo Sternal Journalists,
I’ve recently dipped my toe back into being a track and field fan, specifically the mile event. This is mostly because I’m reading (and enjoying) The Perfect Mile, the book about the “race” between Roger Banister, Wes Santee, and John Landy to break the four minute mile. Great book full of badass tidbits including:
and:
These are both very cool for very different reasons (masochistic modesty; debaucherous chill, respectively). And it reminds me of when I did a monologue in an improv class once where I talked about all the real studs on the cross-country team in high school, and everyone was supposed to pick what they thought was funny (and therefore they might use for an improv scene), and one actor-model-y girl was like, “Well, obviously cross-country guys are not studly guys.” It hadn’t even occurred to me.1
This is all to say: obviously, runners are spindly little bugs to the normal person; but they can also be really cool and macho! And nowhere is that more illustrated than in the recent Indoor Mile World Record showdown between American Yared Nuguse and Norwegian Jakob Ingebrigtsen.
Nuguse is a total nerd in the best ways. His nickname is “The Goose,” he has a pet turtle named after his favorite amino acid (tyro, tyrosine), and he started running late in high school, having initially gravitated towards the bowling team. Ingebrigtsen is a brooding Norwegian covered in tattoos who has declared a desire to break every world record from the 1500 to the marathon (according to Wikipedia; I did not check if true). Ingebrigtsen also has a 5:22 in the beer mile, which is pretty slow for him.
Nine days ago, at the Millrace Games Wannamaker Mile in New York, “The Goose” Nuguse broke the world record for the indoor mile in 3:46.63. And then four days ago, Ingebrigtsen broke that record with a 3:45.14, getting revenge for Nuguse bumping him off the podium in the 1500 at the Paris games last summer.
Nuguse took it in stride and posted a selfie on IG with the filter that makes your eyes and mouth really big, and the caption, “well that was a lit five days. congrats Jakob!”
He also talked in interviews about how records are broken and medals last forever, which I guess is a thing people say and a thing I’m gonna try to internalize because it feels like a classically scalable metaphor for ol Julie right here.
Anyway, here are both races. They’re exhilarating. Don’t pretend you just like track during the olympics:
That’s all for now! I’m sorry I made the Sternal Journal about sports.
Recommendations!
Anora. Film. Finally saw it. Really like it! It’s like a slightly more palatable Safdie Brothers movie. Go into it knowing as little as possible (it is about strippers, so you can know that you see boobs I guess, if that’s important one way or another).
Life is Beautiful. Album. Love this quick, 36 minute project from Larry June, 2 Chainz, and The Alchemist. Come for The Alchemist beats, stay for Larry June and 2 Chainz’ effortless flows and puns. My favorite extremely 2 Chainzian line: “Wake up in the afternoon. Tell ‘em I’m the one like after noon.”
White Lotus. Television Show. It’s back! We’re in a TVquinox! White Lotus and Severence on at the same time!
Crystal Ball Dept. Article [Paywall ;( ]. This New Yorker quibi (talk of the town) is insane. It reads like a 2025 update on the American Psycho business card bros scene, and I believe that it’s all totally real. But it’s that kind of “this is terrible” that is less existential and more just enjoyable. What a hoot.
Alrighty! That’s all! Actually, here’s a no context picture of British running legend Mo Farrah after breaking the world record in the one hour race:
Okay, that’s all.
Much love!
Julian!
I may have told this story in a prior Stern Journ. My bad!