Thank You For Being a Friend: White Lotus, Mid-Century Modern, and friendship as resistance
Plus of course some solid recs
Est. Read Time: 6 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
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Hello Sternal Journalists,
Since you’re receiving this in the middle of work on a Monday (thank you for shirking your employment responsibilities to enjoy the SternJourn btw), you can tell I had a busy week!
Drove down to San Diego for a very fun show (check out Coin-Op Game Room in North Park),
did an absolutely zany bit show called Bad Solutions which I will hopefully have clips of soon,
and even got my weird on at the often-imitated-never-replicated Hollywood Comedy, where my cousin who just moved to LA surprised me with a visit! Great times, and I only said one thing that I am dreading will come up at Thanksgiving next year.
I also saw this guy, who I would please love for the Safdie Brothers to reunite so they can make a movie about whatever day he’s having:
you think you are A24-core. You are not. He is.
Friends on T.V.
ANYWAY, this week, I want to get a little comp-litty and share a couple dots that I connected in the vast television landscape, from the prestigious if shruggily-received third season finale of White Lotus, to the popcorn-y, “hey, multicam can still be fun” Nathan Lane sitcom, Mid Century Modern, on Hulu.
I was watching premiere of Modern after having some friends over last weekend, and I was positively struck by Nathan Lane’s monologue, which ended the premiere. All you need to know is that, in the wake of a friend’s passing, Lane invites his remaining two best friends to move in with him in his Palm Springs estate, but then fears he’s fallen in love with a young beau and wants to rescind the offer. Here’s the monologue, most important part bolded for you skimmers:
“I’ve always had this notion that, of the four of us— well, now the three of us, I’ve been the unluckiest in love. Arthur, you had Lionel. He was amazing. Granted, there was a 700-year age difference. But you got to see Paris for the first time with someone you loved. He cherished you. He took care of you.
And after George, Jerry, you had all those happy, crazy years with you-know-who. [JERRY: It never would have ended if he didn’t have to marry that woman to get reelected. I hate the Senate. *studio audience roars*]. The point is, I’m the one who's never had a love story. Then I meet this incredibly sweet young man who made me think, could this be it? Could I have finally found the love of my life?
So I thought long and hard about it, and then right before you came here today, it became obvious to me. I have found the love of my life:
It’s you two. This friendship is my love story. Yes, it’s sexless and annoying. But what long-lasting love story isn’t? I’m so sorry boys, I’ve made a big mistake. Of course, I still want you to move in. Please forgive me.”
There you go. Funny, heartwarming, nothing too deep, but pretty relatable. HOWWWEVER, I watched this scene with eyes wide and jaw agape, as I thought, “Hang on. I feel like I’ve heard this exact sentiment recently.”
It was, of course, from Carrie Coon’s monologue in the White Lotus. For all the digital ink spilt to relegate this season to one of the more mediocre offerings of prestige television, most folks found Coon’s monologue relatable and/or stunning. The odd one out of a trio of middle-aged ladies, she has spent the whole week putting up interchangeable facades, but in the final moments of their vacation, her honesty is finally able to break through:
It’s funny because if I’m being honest, all week I’ve just been so sad. I just feel like my expectations were too high, or— I just feel like as you get older, you have to justify your life, you know? And your choices? And— when I’m with you guys, it’s just so like, like transparent what my choices were. And my mistakes.
I have no belief system, I— well, I mean I’ve had a lot of ‘em. But I mean, work was my religion forever, but I definitely lost my belief there. And then, and then I tried love. And that was just a painful religion. It just made everything worse. And then, even for me, just, like being a mother, that didn’t save me either.
But I had this epiphany today. I don’t need religion or god to give my life meaning. Because time gives it meaning. We, we started this life together. I mean we’re going through it apart, but we’re still together, and I, I look at you guys and it feels meaningful. And I can’t explain, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever inane shit, it still feels very fucking deep.
I’m glad you have a beautiful face. And I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. And I’m just happy to be at the table.
Of course, stories which argue that friendship is an equal love to partnership are not a new trend. To name just a pretty random few, Platonic, Broad City, Superbad, Will & Grace, and of course Golden Girls have all made similar arguments. The latter especially: Mid Century Modern, with its Palm Springs sun and camp, is borderline a straight-up gender-swapped remake and it would be easy to see the White Lotus girls as a dark, moody HBO prequel.
But I do think there’s something timely to these themes. Not to be all “News, news, phones, phones, phones, AI,” but there’s a bit of a perfect storm ripping apart our appetite for togetherness, or to quote Divya Venns’ viral tweet (she also has a ‘stack):
We have more access to scary knowledge that turns us inward, convenience that stops us from venturing outward, and an increasingly ubiquitous horde of all-knowing conversation slaves who it is easy to forget do not actually exist (RIP to the friend who told me yesterday that Chat-GPT got angry at her for something).
So while these pro-friendship themes have always existed in our media (and probably in humanity), this might very well be the time that they are most important and most necessary. And I will cherish them, try at times to perpetuate them, and then most of the time, just get away from a comfortable, smooth screen so I can go be with a sometimes-annoying, always-there, good old-fashioned friend.
Recommendations!
Drop. Film. Last night, a friend texted a group chat that they had just seen Ryan Coogler’s new movie, Sinners, which they said was excellent. I have not seen Sinners, but I replied that I had seen Drop, the new horror thriller dark comedy, where in a woman on a first date starts receiving air drops that command her to kill her date in order to save her son and sister. Drop, in my opinion, is also excellent, but in a totally different division. Whereas I’m sure Sinners is winning the D1 March Madness of movies, Drop is like D3 Elite Eight, which is still really cool and a lot of fun to watch. Good whodunit, nothin’ too creepy, lot of light laughs. Also has Meghann Fahy, who had the season-stealing monologue in Season 2 of White Lotus, and was in lighthearted friendship romp, The Bold Type.
Why We’re Polarized. Book. While I listened to this mostly on audiobook and I don’t think that’s the best way to retain information, I found this 2020 Ezra Klein book to be a super grounding assessment of how politics, discourse, and our lives got polarized. Klein, as always, explains things simply but is super exhaustive in backing it up with research. I found it grounding because, while we all often try to point to a big nefarious power who made things the way they are, most of the problems of today seem to arise from honest and good-faith solutions to the problems of yesterday. The end of the book is a good reminder that “there are no solutions, only corrections.”
Dawn Professional Multi-Surface Heavy Duty Degreaser. Cleaning Product. I know we normally do media recs here, but I’ve been passively lamenting the gross gunk around my stove for years, and finally found this shit that actually took care of it. I exclaimed, “This stuff is a miracle worker!” and immediately turned into my mom. I probably found it on Wirecutter or YouTube or something.
Aspect Ratios with Director Ryan Coogler. YouTube Video. I am a dumbass when it comes to film nerdery, so I got a lot out of this educational video Kodak released with Sinners director Ryan Coogler. Obviously, this is marketing for Kodak and for the movie and also very nerdy, but I would love more marketing and nerdiness like this genuinely educational anti-snobbery. My only regret is that it got me excited to try to see it in 70MM IMAX, but they’re basically all sold out.
Alrighty folks, that’s a doozy for a Monday late Stern Journal, but thanks for reading, pleeeeease leave a like or a comment if you dug it, and go spend some time with a friend this week.
Love!
Julian!
Normally, I use this area to say that you can upgrade to paid if you’re rich. I hugely appreciate those of you who have, but nobody should ever feel pressured to! AAAAALSO though, if you’re the type to hit a like or leave a comment and you just haven’t thought of doing it on the SternJourn yet, come on in! Lemme know if you love or hate the recs! All engagement unfortunately is good engagement. But if you do not have time, get outta here and don’t worry about it! I’ll see ya next week!
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