Short SternJourn and the Shortest Escalator in the World
getting groove back, D.C. was fun
Est. Read Time: 3 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
New to the SternJourn? It’s a place where Julian (me) promotes shows; and talks about comedy, writing, productivity, and whatever the hell else he [I] want(s). Check out the best of 2024, 2022, 2021, or 2020 [I’ll get around to a best of 2023 at some point]!
Shows!
[Orange County] Durty Nelly’s Costa Mesa. Saturday July 12
[Edinburgh, Scotland] 100 Julian Sterns, Ranked By Hotness Alone.
[Future Shows] Fill out this form to lemme know what city you’re in if you wanna see me perform there! Takes 5 seconds! Helps me make my grand plans! I wanna do Chicago? Portland soon?
Sternal Journalists!
Great to see you. It’s Tuesday which is Memorial Day’s Monday, so this is a pretty normal timing actually for a Sternal Journal. I was traveling and opened for my friend Ray, who sold out TWO shows at the DC Comedy Loft. It was fun. Here we are with my mom enjoying the Kensington, Maryland Farmer’s Market:
Forcing my parents to let my more successful friends stay at our house is one of the most fun parts of comedy and I hope to do it forever, or until it really pisses my parents off and I have to stop. They are great parents so thank you to them.
Anyway, I’m gearing up for my Edinburgh Fringe show, 100 Julian Sterns, Ranked By Hotness Alone and I’m editing a sketch I hope to share with you soon and I’m winding down my neighborhood council tenure so I’m all over the place but needed to bless your inboxes with something, so I want to talk about escalators.
I’m thinking about escalators because the DC Metro stop closest to my house has the longest single-track escalator in the Western hemisphere (and 12th longest in the world!). Here’s a picture:
Growing up, I fully took for granted how Star Wars-y the brutalist architecture of the DC Metro system looked, but I am panged with deep nostalgia every time I stare down this imposing tube. It got me wondering about the other end of things, and I learned that the world’s shortest escalator is only 5 steps. You can see it here:
and read about it here.
I honestly think, as a society, we can get shorter. I wanna see a one step escalator. Let’s get there. But for now, you know the shortest escalator in the world and I hope you get to bring this fact up sometime this week. Other things to do this week?
Recommendations!
A Different Man. Film. This Sebastian Stan dark comedy is about appearance, theater, and confidence. It’s like a less intense, more coherent Beau Is Afraid. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, it’s a little depressing but only a little. I cannot recommend it enough.
Don’t Be A Stranger with Jonah Hill & Michael Cera. Podcast Episode. I stumbled upon this 2019 episode of The A24 Podcast and relistened. This is a must-listen for men who were 19 in 2007, and probably for others.
WHATUP. Song. A lot of “rediscovered” this week, but I also rediscovered the weird future jazz duo DOMi & JD Beck. I think I’ve recommended them in the past, but the whole album. So maybe if I tell you just to listen to a song, you’ll actually give it a try.
The second half of Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning. Film. The big stunts are in the second half and I don’t think you miss any story. Don’t tell Tom Cruise, he would be devastated.
Okay, that’s all for this week! Much love!
Julian!
Normally, I use this area to say that you can upgrade to paid if you’re rich. I hugely appreciate those of you who have, but nobody should ever feel pressured to! AAAAALSO though, if you’re the type to hit a like or leave a comment and you just haven’t thought of doing it on the SternJourn yet, come on in! Lemme know if you love or hate the recs! All engagement unfortunately is good engagement. But if you do not have time, get outta here and don’t worry about it! I’ll see ya next week!
Also also, if you would come to a show if I was in your city, fill out this form (same form as before, so no need to refill if you already have!) It helps me plan and also prove to bookers that I have some sway in your place!