In LA? PlEaSe come to my preview of my Edinburgh Fringe show
Click through to see the first 2 of 100 Julians which will be ranked by hotness alone
Est. Read Time: 5 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
New to the SternJourn? It’s a place where Julian (me) promotes shows; and talks about comedy, writing, productivity, and whatever the hell else he [I] want(s). Check out the best of 2024, 2022, 2021, or 2020 [I’ll get around to a best of 2023 at some point]!
Shows!
[Los Angeles, CA] The Hollywood Comedy. Saturday June 28
[Los Feliz, LA, CA] Splash Zone at The Clubhouse. Monday July 7
[Orange County] Durty Nelly’s Costa Mesa. Saturday July 12
[Santa Monica, CA] 100 Julian Sterns, Ranked By Hotness Alone. Friday July 18.
[Edinburgh, Scotland] 100 Julian Sterns, Ranked By Hotness Alone. August 2-20.
[Future Shows] Fill out this form to lemme know what city you’re in if you wanna see me perform there! Takes 5 seconds! Helps me make my grand plans!
Hello Sternal Journalists,
Once again, if you’re in Los Angeles, please come to my Edinburgh Fringe Preview show. To be honest, I have to know if it works and I will only know if it works if people are there.
What do you mean “If it works,” Julian? Isn’t it like your other shows where you just do a bunch of your best material?
Oh, no no no, dear reader. This is a different show. A new show. I’m loathe to say this is “unlike anything I’ve ever done,” because most of the time when you see a performer who says that about their show, you go and you’re like “Oh, it’s just a different show from last time. It’s got a lot of similar themes and tricks. It’s different, but I wouldn’t say it’s *unlike* *anything* you’ve ever done. It’s just a new show.”
In fact, I would go so far as to say I’ve never, ever, ever seen or read something by a person, and then seen or read a second thing and thought that it was unlike anything they had ever done. This is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. We are all humans who infuse our disparate projects, hobbies, relationships with our unique, one-of-one lifespark. The very light downside of this is that when you try to market a show as “unlike anything I’ve done before,” it’s almost always an overpromise.
SO I won’t say this is unlike anything I’ve done before because it’s a comedy show with jokes and songs, which makes it not unlike Julian Stern Keeps Trying, 2Lian Stern Keeps 2Rying, or Hot. Mean. Smart. Fancy. But it’s different in that it’s a choose-your-own-adventure and it is about a specific theme.
That theme? HOTNESS. Basically, it’s about how when I was 21, I worked at Maxim Magazine and ranked women based on their looks for the Maxim Hot 100, and that since I now know that’s bad, I am doing my penance by having an audience rank 100 versions of me based on my looks.
There will be arguably good pictures like this:
and arguably bad pictures like this:
Through it all, there will be associated gags and goofs and we, as a group, will literally rank all 100, and in doing so, come up with a communal definition of what hotness means to us.
I’m 100% sure it will be fun and 65% sure it will be good (which is exactly the confidence I need to have in order to be scared and make sure it is indeed good).
So— that’s my pitch! Come to my show! Tickets on sale now!
Recommendations!
Sarah McBride on Why The Left Lost on Trans Rights. Podcast. This episode of Ezra Klein with the first ever trans member of congress is, in my opinion, required listening for anyone who wants to argue with other people while making a good faith effort to make the world a better place. McBride has a ton of bangers, the most memorable of which is that her issue with people who are chronic skeptics (think Joe Rogan acolytes) is not that they are skeptical, but that they are confident in their skepticism which kind of goes against skepticism as a concept. It’s a great listen.
Victory Lap. Song. I don’t know a lot about Fred Again, Skepta, or Plaque Boy Max but this song is very good. I played it at a get together and everyone was like “what’s this?” and then everyone was like “this is a good song, but it’s pretty intense for a get-together.” Great way to start the week though.
Adventures in the Screen Trade. Book. This book by novelist and screenwriter William Goldman (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All The President’s Men, The Princess Bride) is both a fun romp through various Hollywood jobs and insanely still (from what I can tell) accurate even though it was written over 40 years ago. It also includes this sentence:
I have never heard of a goony-goony bird. Have you?
Destiny. Song. This song by rappers Prof and Sauce Walks is also very fun, and will be very useful if you’re trying to hype yourself up for a performance or to negotiate a promotion with your supervisor.
Alright folks, stay sane and do something for yourself today.
Much love!
Julian!
I think that song is completely appropriate for a get together, unless you had like a giant boom box and were just blasting it in their faces. Although, that is a definite conversation starter, so I am kind of for that scenario too.