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Plus added show in DC!!!
Est. Read Time: 4 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
New to the SternJourn? It’s a place where Julian (me) promotes shows; and talks about comedy, writing, productivity, and whatever the hell else he [I] want(s). Check out the best of 2024, 2022, 2021, or 2020 [I’ll get around to a best of 2023 at some point]!
Shows!
Aaaah! More shows coming soon, be on the lookout! Second show added with Ray in DC because the first one sold out! Get tix!
[Washington, DC] The Comedy Loft [featuring for Ray Lau!] - Friday May 16
[Future Shows] Fill out this form to lemme know what city you’re in if you wanna see me perform there! Takes 5 seconds! Helps me make my grand plans!
Hellooo Sternal Journalists!
Bad news, I lost my neighborhood council election. Good news, I wrote a concession speech which I put on Instagram and am going to reprint here as this week’s content (with one slight change—see if you can find it). If you already ready it on IG, a) thank you and b) scroll on down to the recs! Also, of course, thanks to anyone who voted or shared info about this hyper-local election. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate it. OKAY, here we go:
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Welp! I lost my bid for reelection on the Mid City West Neighborhood Council. This is certainly a bummer, but it is in some ways less of a bummer and in other ways more of bummer than at first glance.
Let’s start with the “more than a bummer:” not only did I lose, but most of the folks on the Progressive Slate lost as well. What the heck does a progressive slate even mean, you might wonder, in a hyperlocal Los Angeles election?
For the most part, it means trying to uphold the rights of renters and unhoused people; trying to shepherd in more housing of any type to increase the housing stock, with an emphasis when possible on low-income housing; and being pro-transit (buses, metro, bike lanes, the latter of which created by far the most vitriolic debated I’ve ever witnessed in my life).
Which, to be clear, I understand. I get why the folks “across the aisle” are concerned about losing a turn lane to a bike lane. I get why it’s really annoying and I would go so far as to say “sucks a big one” to have a large apartment complex go up which could decrease sunlight, increase street parking, and change the look of your block. I am even empathetic to the idea that prioritizing eradication of encampments over housing of humans comes from a place of fear, not from a place of hate.
And I said as much time after time in meeting after meeting. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am only an asshole when I give a shit about something, but that I always do my best to show that I care before and/or after being an asshole.
This is all to say that I have love and respect for everyone who would run for a volunteer position that I have previously described as “model UN with all the most bored, self-righteous maniacs who can walk to your house.” But still, it is a bummer to me that the folks who got in will control the next term
It’s a bummer because you can’t get rid of encampments without housing people and providing social/mental health services, you can’t house people without building more housing, you can’t bring LA into the future without making it an affordable place to live and get around. And though it would be convenient, you cannot actually make LA safer by fear-gooning on the Nextdoor app all day. I really hate that app. It is Facebook on PCP.
So I don’t have a lot of faith in their methods, but I wish them well and will do all in my power to support them in finding sustainable, humane solutions to the issues of our neighborhood.
And that brings me to the “less of a bummer” part. Ultimately, any LA neighborhood council is advisory. They have tiny budgets for admin and nonprofit grants, but our only actual powers lie in doling out or withholding stamps of approval and letters of support.
So ultimately, I do not, nor does anybody need to be on their neighborhood council to make their neighborhood a better place. It might make it marginally easier to know who to ask for certain things, but I’d argue that just by going to a couple NC meetings (all of which are public), you can get pretty much the same amount of access.
So I’m pretty much going to keep doing what I’m doing, without the hindrance of meetings and agendas.
And if you have any interest yourself in something like that, you should too! Please go to a meeting, run for office, ask me for advice. I don’t think it’s just because of my age and being a comedian that I feel we are at a record high of people complaining and scratching their heads about why things feel so bad.
Take a break from your podcast mic and Instagram story and get involved. It genuinely makes you feel better. Anyone can do this. I promise you’re not too silly/apolitical/whatever to get civically involved. I am literally a comedian who spent the last two weeks writing a joke about how I got framed for pooping on the floor of a gas station bathroom. So I mean anyone can do this. I promise this is just the end of the beginning for me. <3
Recommendations
*alert: some of these might play into next week’s essay I have planned, so you can check them out ahead of time like a book club*
Pete Buttigieg on Flagrant. Podcast. Mayor Pete went on comedian Andrew Schultz’ podcast. If you would never listen to an Andrew Schultz podcast, this is a good episode to listen to. If you would never listen to anything Pete Buttigieg says, this is a good episode to listen to.
The Perfect Mile. Book. Finally finished this book that I rec’d earlier when I started it. If you’re a runner, this is a must-read. If you like stories about various people taking different approaches while racing to achieve the same goal, you will find it very interesting as well.
Sperm Race. Ummm… cultural moment? Okay, I’m gonna write a bunch more about this next week, but on Friday, some college kids with way too much money and an impressive amount of bio-tech prowess organized a live “sperm race.” It’s silly. It’s fratty. It was an extremely chaotic even which I briefly watched on YouTube livestream out of intense curiosity. Also, they claim that it’s meant to encourage men to talk about male fertility and sperm mobility and all that jazz. The fratiness played a lot more than the nobility, but I’m telling you… they made this thing interesting to watch. I would not recommend sitting for the whole event, but watching sperm actually through a microscopic track is fascinating and I think a zeitgeist thing worth tracking. Though I would like to apologize to the friends I forced to watch this live.
Band of Brothers. Television Show. I know I’m however many years late to this, but watching for the first time and it’s riveting. It is also one of those HBO shows that’s now available on Netflix, so get it while it’s hot.
Lioness & Queenie. YouTube Video. I love watching British people rap outside, and that’s what this video is. Found it on TikTok.
Alrighty, need a pic for this week, so here are some kimchi pancakes I made last week.
Thanks for stickin’ around and thanks always for the support!
Much love!
Julian!