Est. Read Time: 4 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
New to the SternJourn? Check out the best of 2021, 2020, or whichever random classic this is.
SHOWS:
LA: I’m in the works to run my Fringe show and variations of it at different places around town, stay tuned!
AUSTIN: I’m coming to Austin! Wednesday November 16th is the first show, and should have shows through that Sunday!
Hello Sternal Journalists!
Happy end-of-wedding-season to all who celebrate, and happy two-weeks-in-a-row-of-forgetting-to-bring-dress-socks-to-a-wedding to me!
Far less importantly but it’s what I’m writing about this week, I’ve fired a new volley in the Battle for Julian’s Social Media Soul. I have fully embraced TikTok Now, which is a complete and flagrant rip-off of BeReal.
If you haven’t been following my journey as a social media addict who thinks writing about the addiction is close enough to recovery, here is a little primer:
January 2021. “Old People, Come Ruin TikTok Please!” I plead for TikTok to become more mainstream because it is (a) very fascinating) and (b) so addictive as to ruin the lives of people on the platform.
December 2021. I declare to a friend I’m doing my post-COVID New Years Eve with that 2022 will be the year I wean myself off of all social media.
January 2021. “More Wordle, Less Metaverse.” I gush about the enforced scarcity of things like the daily puzzle game Wordle which I argue, by being s strictly once-a-day thing has all the good of social media without any of the addiction.
March 2022. I have my first viral TikTok which also heralds a string of fairly successful Instagram reels, thereby pretty much convincing me I professionally need to be on TikTok and dooming me to failure at my loose resolution.
April 2022. In a therapy session, while trying to pinpoint whether there were any specific triggers for a pretty severe depression I was in, I realized the date almost perfectly lined up with that first viral TikTok lol.
May 2022. “Wordle Revisited.” I admitted I was very wrong about Wordle’s scarcity because there are plenty of anxieties that are brought into the real world even by a social media app that lets you only engage once a day. Which is why I was skeptical of the take-a-photo-of-what-you’re-doing-RIGHT-now app BeReal which was making waves at the time.
Since Then. I’ve remained skeptical! While BeReal doesn’t quite have the same zeitgeist penetration that TikTok did (does), I have witnessed its ills: people abruptly stopping mid-conversation or mid-other-real-life-existence when the notification to “Be Real!” comes in, or the inverse: putting off the BeReal chore because whatever moment they’re currently experiencing is too boring or too real to document (thereby engaging in exactly the kind of curation the app supposedly avoids). Plus people post their BeReals on Instagram all the time.
Now. And you’re all caught up!
So it brings me no joy to say that, this week, when TikTok launched “TikTokNow,” copy-pasted BeReal, I said “fuck it why not?” and started using it. The reason I told myself it was okay is that (a) I’m not kidding myself about having a healthier relationship with social media through its use, and (b) I’m on TikTok for career marketing purposes and it doesn’t sound like a terrible way to “market.”
But also—because I’m addicted to social media! It’s not the worst case in the world—I know people way more addicted than I am. But it’s a thing I do that brings me more strife than joy, and yet I not only continue to do it, but do it with urgency.
And while I sat down to try to come up with a more thoughtful piece of cultural criticism about apps eating each other and presenting as the thing they always were—all shifting pieces of the exact same thing—that’s all really just another attempt to legitimize the addiction and give it purpose.
Now that’s how you… Be Real [sunglasses emoji].
Recommendations
“The Quest By Circadian Medicine to Make the Most of Our Body Clocks.” Podcast. You can listen to this on The Daily or read it in NYT. I’m halfway through listening and think it’s pretty fascinating anytime something that has been woo-woo for a long time is beginning to get academic attention. And despite having taken a nap from 7pm to midnight tonight, I think good sleep is an actual superpower and it’s something I’m working on being better about.
“Project Unabom.” Podcast. If you’re like me and have spent most of your life mixing up your murderous Teds, this podcast about Ted Kaczynski will help set you straight.
40s n 90s. Song. This song by DD Osama and SugarhillDdot goes very hard if you’re into that sort of thing, and (I’m pretty sure, though I haven’t verified) samples greatest breakup song of all time, Ne-Yo’s “So Sick,” while doing it.
Hot Money: Who Rules Porn? Podcast. This 8-part series from the Financial Times follows the money in porn to find out who actually gets to dictate what performers are allowed to do with their bodies on the internet. It’s a pretty wild answer!
Alrighty, have a great week! Much love, be real!
Julian
P.S. I spend anywhere between two and twelve hours a week on the Sternal Journal. If you enjoy receiving it (and are RICH) consider becoming a paying subscriber. For just a few bucks a month, you can provide me with a bit more time to come up with fun topics, poems, and interviews; and you with probably fewer typos.