Uber to Malibu
Cringe or bars or cringe and bars or
Est. Read Time: 2 minutes (+ 2 minute listen). Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
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SHOWS! February 8th at 8pm, I’m making my Hotel Cafe debut! I don’t know what the name of the show is or if tickets are available, but save the date. Should be a hoot.
Hello Sternal Journalists!
I was hanging on by a thread all week and didn’t have a lot of time for comedy, so today decided to go to three open mics to reinvigorate the hustle in me. That means, between Highland Park, Burbank, and Hollywood, I watched five hours of open mic comedy today (and performed fifteen minutes). I had a great time, but like many great times, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it or do it again.
Earlier this week, while zipping around to various errands and obligations, I listened to my old classic and first foray into musical comedy Sweatpants and Chardonnay, and thought, “This is a little embarrassing, but I also kinda went hard on it.”
That got me into just binging beats on Spotify and nostalgically rapping whatever old things I could remember writing. Perhaps out of the nervous energy from doing dry January (a story for another day), one morning I decided to set up a little laptop studio in my car and record one of these freestyles over a beat that I’d really enjoyed.
Now, this isn’t comedy. This is an earnest song (or a couple different pieces of different ideas for songs) I wrote like eight years ago while I was driving around trying to pick up Uber passengers and passing the time by, yes, rapping by myself. It’s about being beaten down by rejection and worrying that one’s efforts are all in vain.
Here is what my good friend Joe had to say about that:
LOL.
Earnest rap from someone like me is cringe. By “someone like me,” I mean many things. But I also definitely mean white and goofy. Buuuut, like Sweatpants and Chardonnay, I was also like, thiiiiis is kinda bars. Of course, it is cringe for me to say bars, so that just descends into a feedback loop of cringe and bars and cringe and-
Anyway, I don’t currently see myself embarking on a non-comedic music project any time in the near future, but I enjoyed recording this (rough) demo and I think others might enjoy listening to it. And if driving around aimlessly eight years ago can bear creative fruit today, hopefully my scooting around to mics aimlessly today will make something happen in… hopefully sooner than another eight years.
Risky Decisions 2015 Demo
Recommendations
Pressure Cooker. Television Show. Top Chef meets Survivor/Big Brother. That is all this is. That is all it needs to be. Especially a nice watch for those of us who liked The Menu. (Netflix)
The Outlaw Ocean. Podcast. This podcast is basically about the wildness (as in wild-westness) of maritime law and the people who evade it. It’s got me hooked.
The Greater Los Angeles Homeless Count. Volunteer Opportunity. Every year, Los Angeles does a point-in-time count of unhoused individuals to both understand the scope of the homelessness problem and effectively advocate for resources. I’m running the Mid City West Portion of it this year on January 26th and, if you’re around and looking to volunteer, we have more slots! But there are opportunities to volunteer all over LA County as well! Feel free to hit me up if you have questions.
Curious Elixir #4. Drink. Like I said, I’m doing dry January. So far, this is my favorite non-alcoholic thing I had. For the most part, it’s actually much easier to drink nothing than to drink just a little bit. But these make it more fun.
Watching Rush Hour Right after finishing The Crown. Transition. Finished The Crown this week and insisted on going straight into Rush Hour because they both take place on the final days of British rule of Hong Kong. They are very different things and its fun imagining them in the same universe.
P.S. I spend anywhere between two and twelve hours a week on the Sternal Journal. If you enjoy receiving it (and are RICH) consider becoming a paying subscriber. For just a few bucks a month, you can provide me with a bit more time to come up with fun topics, poems, and interviews; and you with probably fewer typos.