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Revisiting the East LA Courthouse Waiting Room Wall of Fame
Plus a show on January 18th!
Est. Read Time: 5 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections.
SHOWS: In LA? I have a show January 18th, 7pm: Can’t Even Comedy @ Mama Shelter. It’s free! It’s outdoors! What more could you want???
Hello Sternal Journalists!
A few months ago, I served on a jury for the first time. For all of the talking that happens around the justice system in America, it was fascinating to finally not just watch it up close, but to be a part of it.
Or an understudy part of it.
See, I was an alternate; so I got to sit through the whole case but didn’t even get to watch the deliberations, let alone weigh in. Let me tell you, the Little Julian who had no friends in pre-school and has therefore always held a deep-rooted fear of being an outsider did not like that.
But I reminded myself that bla-bla-bla I was still doing my civic duty and that should be good enough and I have friends, okay? They won’t abandon me now. I don’t need to make friends with these new people as sort of like back-up friends in case my original 12 friends get sick or get thrown out—oookay, that’s a lot to unpack for therapy on Tuesday, Julian.
That’s all to say it was okay that I was an alternate. I made peace with it. But because I was an alternate, I spent a lot of time in the jury waiting room. And my favorite part of the jury waiting room—other than a speaker system that the other alternate would regularly threaten to turn on only because there was a sign that explicitly stated not to aaaand he wasn’t doing so hot with the making-peace-with-being-an-alternate thing—
My favorite part other than that was the…
WALL OF FAME!!!
I posted this on Instagram at the time, but I just needed to dedicate a Sternal Journal to it because I’ve never stopped thinking about it.
I don’t know what’s weirder: having Edward James Olmos on your jury, or the fact that L.A. Superior Court thinks this is a good way to get people to do jury duty.
I’ll tell you what’s weirder than both, though…
Weird Al! I mean, imagine being on trial for literally anything, violent felony or misdemeanor, completely innocent or totally guilty, it has got to be strange to finally look at the jury after trying not to make eye contact with them and be like, “Is that…”
And while it is strange to have a guy you’ve seen singing about lasagna in a fat suit…
WHAT IF IT WAS HAN “INDIANA JONES” SOLO???
This is the one I’m really actually impressed ever served on a jury. Based on what I saw of jury questioning, I feel like everyone must have wanted Harrison Ford to be there, including Harrison Ford.
Imagine trying to pay attention to the details of a case while you know you might be having to argue with Harrison Ford at the end of it.
Honorable mentions go to Jamie Lee Curtis,
And Judge Lance Ito!
Again, I feel like everyone in most courtrooms has a reason to not want a living reminder of the O.J. Simpson murder trial hangin’ around, but maybe he’s just a really fun guy?
Anyway! What a cast of characters. Do you want a serve on a jury now? Do you think it’s as weird as I do that they posted names and pictures of people who are supposed to remain anonymous in the exact space where they’re definitely supposed to remain anonymous?
Sound off in the comments if you like, but for now…
An Editor’s Burial. Book. I’m really digging this collection of writing from and about The New Yorker that inspired Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch.
Dawn FM. Album. I’ve always had much respect for The Weeknd, but never been a total fanatic, so take with a grain of salt that this new offering from him might be my favorite. There are multiple Jim Carrey cameos and it works.
Nardwuar vs. J. Cole (2021). Interview. A wholesome and joyous conversation between two geniuses. It was the first thing I watched on New Year’s Day and I forgot to mention it last week.
The Apartment. Film. Some friends introduced me to this 1960 Billy Wilder film starring Jack Lemon and Shirley MacLaine on New Years Eve and, beyond it being funny and great which it was, I was surprised by how modern so much of the comedy felt for a movie that was over six decades old. So if you’re looking for a modern old movie, check it out!
Alrighty, Sternal Journalists! That’s all for now! Much love!
P.S. I spend anywhere between two and twelve hours a week on the Sternal Journal. If you enjoy receiving it (and are RICH) consider becoming a paying subscriber. For just a few bucks a month, you can provide me with a bit more time to come up with fun topics, poems, and interviews; and you with probably fewer typos.