Galleria De Gunther Again
A SternJourn Classic in honor of Father's Day and also nation-induced existential dread (plus extras!)
Est. Read Time: 5 minutes. Read Time brought to you once again by the Ashburton Energy + Hair Logistics Group, in association with the Bradley Hills Bureau of Corrections + Housing.
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Shows!
[Los Angeles, CA] The Hollywood Comedy. Saturday June 28
[Los Feliz, LA, CA] Splash Zone at The Clubhouse. Monday July 7
[Orange County] Durty Nelly’s Costa Mesa. Saturday July 12
[Santa Monica, CA] 100 Julian Sterns, Ranked By Hotness Alone PREVIEW. Friday July 18. Ticket link to come, but running the show before Fringe!
[Edinburgh, Scotland] 100 Julian Sterns, Ranked By Hotness Alone. August 2-20.
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Heya Sternal Journalists,
Happy Father’s Day to those who are celebrating. This week, I’m reprinting the January 17, 2021 Sternal Journal. It was a fun little project where I forced my dad to do a micro-Q and A about some pictures he had recently had printed.
It felt relevant to reprint because (a) Father’s Day and (b) this was right after January 6th, so we were all feeling confusing, fearful vibes around the state and fate of the country (sound familiar?!). Reading it back, I think it felt grounding to talk about something that wasn’t the big thing everyone was talking about, and also to see some smiles and life going on amidst rough times. Hope it does something like that for you.
And when you’re done, keep scrolling for some Gunther-specific recs.
From the January 17, 2021 Sternal Journal:
Rough couple weeks for the D.C. Metro area and the country. We are being bombarded with images of the District that are terrifying, spooky, and everything in between*.
(*In case you were wondering, the two things that comprise everything between terrifying and spooky are “scary” and “heebiejeebalous”)
Last week, my dad (Gunther aka Gunster aka GunDaOne)—a recent retiree after a few decades of running the Georgetown Ministry Center, a homeless outreach center that works with unhoused folks in Georgetown—announced that he was printing out and framing some photos he had taken over the years that he liked.
This sounds whimsical and nice and it is, so if you don’t know him, I think it’s important to know that he is also a self-described “Grinch” and “asshole” and other things I won’t print here. But he also also does a lot of ceramic pottery (Need a mug? We have mugs!) and will just decide randomly to create a small photo exhibit. Basically, he contains multitudes and all multitudes he contains are pretty cool.
So as a respite from the photos of the other D.C. stuff that has happened and hopefully will not happen again (but we have to brace for potentially other stuff while hoping for the best [2025 Julian Editor’s Note: erm eh *sigh*.]), here is a selection of photos from… The Galleria de Gunther accompanied by a few micro-interviews.
(Note: Many of these pictures include people my dad worked with in his homeless outreach. Homelessness is not a fun distraction from fascism, but it is technically different from the main existential threat people are worried about right now. Also apparent in some of the pictures is the joy that can come from outreach efforts. Look for outreach orgs in your community and find out how to support them.)
Gunther: So this picture, there's like this guy up front, but then there's these girls* in the back and this family here, and the White House behind. (*over the silver man’s right shoulder. **to the left of the girls)
Julian: [Laughs]
Gunther: But I think this guy in front of these women is just really great. I kinda wish that I could have had better detail because I just love her glasses. It's kinda like a Where's Waldo kinda thing, there's always other stuff you're finding in it.
Julian: Mm-hm.
Gunther: But the sky was just this incredible grey. So much going on.
Julian: Do you know that person, the Silver...
Gunther: Him? Yeah.
Julian: You do? Really?!
Gunther: Yeah. He used to come in [to homeless outreach center Georgetown Ministry Center]all the time.
Julian: He's homeless?
Gunther: He's yeah, he's homeless, but he's sort of higher functioning homeless. He's probably manic and he has all these things going on. Um, everything is... nothing is gonna succeed, but he's trying everything.
Julian: So you mean like other things, not just the Silver?
Gunther: He's got all these little endeavors going on, yeah. He's got a van that he just barely keeps legal.
Julian: That's cool.
Gunther: You know, actually this guy here [confused man in blue on left] kinda makes the picture honestly. I mean the picture... wouldn't be as interesting without him there.
Julian: Who's the person in the foreground?
Gunther: Um, what is his name? Interesting guy, he's smart and articulate and very friendly and he has... what is it? Mawpans?
Alexis (mom) from the next room: Marfans?
Gunther: Marfans.
Alexis: That Lincoln had?
Gunther: Yeah, he's--exactly. But that's not the only thing he had, there's all kinds of things.
Gunther: That's Billy. This picture would have been a lot better if it had--I don't know why it's faded out at the bottom. Maybe the lens was dirty. But I could fix that.
Julian: Is it possible that we met him in a Starbucks one time?
Gunther: Possible.
Julian: Talking about books.
Gunther: Coulda been. What kinda books?
Julian: Some like big book he was reading.
Gunther: Hm. Was he throwing German into his um...
Julian: I don't think so.
Gunther: This is a great picture.
Julian: Who's he?
Gunther: John. He's from Trinidad. He's in his... he's quite a bit older than me. He's probably 75 in this picture.
Julian: Did you pose him like that or--
Gunther: Nonono.
Julian: Did he not want his picture taken?
Gunther: No, I said "Can I take your picture?" And he said, "Yeah, sure." That was the way he looked.
Julian: Who's kit is that?
Gunther: Nathan's. When I first met him, he had this giant cart with a big American flag over it. Now he has this huge American flag over three carts.
Julian: Did he get a bigger American flag for it?
Gunther: I don't know where he got that American flag. Somebody called the police on him because he wasn't taking good care of it.
Julian: Really?!
Gunther: Yeah.
Julian: Jesus Christ.
Gunther: The police came and apologized to him.
Julian: Did the person like get into a fight with him?
Gunther: No. They were just offended that he was um, that's it.
Gunther: And this is a great picture too.
Julian: Is that in Georgetown?
Gunther: Mmhm.
Julian: Looking at Watergate?
Gunther: That's Watergate over there [on the right]. Yeah.
Julian: Do you know when that's from?
Gunther: It was about five years ago. I was just there when that thing was there.
Recommendations!
Killing Gunther. Film. I have not seen this 2017 Taran Killam and Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (written, directed, and produced by Killam), but my dad has a poster of it up in our living room and regularly talks about it. I believe that it’s funny, but I think he mostly thinks it’s funny to have a poster that says that up in his home. I should watch it, but also he refuses to watch movies unless it is precisely on his schedule (and you can’t really schedule ahead—you have to just be there when he’s starting it) so it’s not totally my fault.
You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Song. This is a very good Rolling Stones song, and also it was sung to me by my dad any time I ever wanted something as a child, so I have a complicated relationship with it. This is a cool music video of it though.
Donut Muffin at Old Town Market. Food. If you’re lucky enough to be in Kensington, Maryland right now, you can stroll down Antique Row and buy one of the only foods that Gunther Stern likes (although I actually think he might be over them now. But pound for pound, I don’t think he’s ever liked something more than these).
Haut Potential Intellectuel. Television Show. If you are learning French on Duelingo and enjoy cozy, zany foreign detective shows, check out this French-Belgian cross between Dharma & Greg, Good Will Hunting, and Monk. It is a Gunther-certified hit.
Alrighty! Hope you all have a great week, and that you indeed get what you want!
Much love!
Julian!