A song about Die Hard I wrote in 48 hours
Only this one has a guy named Mons Puber instead of Hans Gruber
Hello Sternal Journalists!
It’s Sunday night. It’s the holiday time. I don’t have the time or stamina to bang out a big/normal post, which is okay because you probably also don’t have the time or stamina to read one.
But this week of all weeks, I cannot leave you empty-handed. That’s why I’m sharing RAW, UNCUT footage of a song I wrote for a Die Hard-themed comedy show last weekend. I only found out a couple days before that I was billed as a musical comedian, so I figured, “Well, I gotta write something silly.”
Here is what I came up with. It is very R-rated. It is very fictional. It is very a work-in-progress. It starts out about the “is Die Hard a Christmas movie?” debate and veers off into classic Julian shenanigans. I performed it for about 30 people at 1:45pm on a Sunday which anyone will tell you is the best setting for comedy. We had a blast.
ANYWAY!
My dad’s ceramics. ceramics. If you watched it, you saw that I reference a creative project that my dad and I partake in. The dad in the song is not my real dad, I feel legally and morally obligated to let you know. He is a fictional dad. My real dad has a real creative retirement project, and that is these badass ceramics. He keeps saying they’re not for sale, but we have so many and if you want any, lemme know.
The Night Manager. Television Show. This is a very good spy show from a few years ago that I’m finally watching.
Bobaful. Boba Place. On Thursday night, I did a show for a bunch of teachers and administrators in Monterey Park. We were paid in boba vouchers for the boba place across the street. It’s in the lobby of a courtyard Marriott, and everyone was having fun and playing games and getting work done. It was the most vibrant, but chill hotel lobby I’ve ever seen. This is a hidden gem. Don’t tell anyone else.
Hysterical. Podcast. I have not binged a podcast in a while, but this one was at the top of every list of “best podcasts of 2024.” It’s from Dan Taberski (Missing Richard Simmons, 9/12, Heaven’s Gate), who I sometimes find no-offense-to-anyone-involved overrated. But I found this one, about conversion disorder and mass psychogenic illness (aka hysteria), to be illuminating. I walked away from it feeling like I understood one (1) new scientific concept and it made me realize one thousand (1,000) more ways society and life are complicated. When either of those happen, I give it the SternJourn thumbs up.
Okay, that’s all! Sorry if there were typos and I know I’m missing some formatting and shows and stuff. Those will all be in the next one! If you require immediate info from me, reply to this email or find me on Instagram, julianmstern.
Much love! Happy holidays! Wishing you a peaceful end to the year!
Julian!