"make even Sam Elliott piss his pants"
The Sternal Journal
From the 2nd Most Famous Julian M. Stern In Existence
Hey Sternal Journa-y'all,
Just gonna do a buncha little tiny thoughts and tids and bits of sorts today, mess with the format a little, you know? Put on some ambient music and let it wash over you.
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I started this morning listening to New Boots (the Spotify playlist of new country songs) so I had a "y'all" in me I needed to get out. Boy, is there some trash-ass music on the country charts these days. But I love it.
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I actually remember driving from Atlanta to Los Angeles and there was a full day in Texas where we only got one station for like half an hour. I don't remember a single song, but I do remember the tag after they said the station's call sign. It was just the deepest, most cocksure, make-even-Sam-Elliott-piss-his-pants-if-it-whispered-Boo! cowboy voice I've ever heard saying,
"We don't play none a' that pop country."
And they did not.
*** I read a pretty neat LA Times Article about Beethoven's Opus 132 and how it's the perfect thing to listen to right now because he wrote it to convey his experience of coming down with, then recovering from "a dreadful bowel inflammation."
(I can imagine him reading the article on his ghost-phone from his grave in Vienna: "Couldn't you just say I was sick?!")
Anyway, the article is great. The Opus is really great, specifically--and I know, I know. Classical music? Stay with me--specifically the third movement. I'm just parroting the LA Times critic here, but it evokes a sense of that first moment after having been sick (with a dreadful bowel inflammation) where you start to feel better.
Listen to the whole thing, but if you must, fast forward to 3:20 where--I AM TELLING YOU--it really bangs, slaps, and everything in between.
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I started watching a Lenny Bruce performance on YouTube where he works through his obscenity charges on stage, repeating the jokes he got charged for, and explaining why (a) it's asinine that he got arrested for saying vulgar things on stage and (b) why they aren't really that vulgar if you get what he's saying.
It reminded me of Drakeo the Ruler's recent album, Thank You For Using GTL, which he recorded entirely from prison. In the case that landed him in jail, prosecutors used his lyrics and music videos as evidence.
Both very talented artists using their art to defend themselves against legal systems arresting them for performing their art.
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I am incredibly proud of my instagram output from this weekend. Really showed off my range with two of my best posts of all time.
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Here's a really hopeless poem about phone addiction I wrote last week:
oh em my days without insta
my time with no phone
my life without record
my self with no home
*** Speaking of digital addictions, I have been playing a ton of a knockoff of the board game Spice Road online. I both need to stop and would love to play with you.
Bonus: I have some theories about how Spice Road can be a metaphor for the German Netflix show DARK.
So if anyone has both those reference points, hit! Me! Up!
***
That may be it for now! If you didn't see my instagram diatribe about Hollywood's debt to the people of Los Angeles (I made it fun, I swear), go check it out. I think it's a good thing for people to be talking about.
Until then, much love and wishes that nobody gets a dreadful bowel inflammation!
Julian